We may not have guns, or wits as our wits got rid of our guns which could be handy in times of invasion. Nevertheless, we have an enthusiastic population that aren’t keen on working long days yet are more keen to whip their phone out and film themselves dancing in the presence of strangers that wish they’d bugger off.
Due to the fact our millennials are on their phones all the time they are therefore well informed and can keep up with fun current affairs in the world. Affairs such as orange man being bad, being in the know about egg prices and of course Chinese invasion plans.
Tik-Tok may have been constructed by the Chinese to inflict evil on Western society, no denying it as it’s bloody obvious. Good has indeed come from evil though as ignorant dance sessions in elevators with strangers has been a way for Tik-Tokers to be caught up in world events. Events like their own country being invaded at Botany Bay. Yes, that’s right, local pain in the butt Tik-Toker who goes by the handle of bobby_ sad eyes_bambino was first at the scene to capture the Chinese Navy setting boots on the ground at Botany Bay due to hearing about it by a cowardly Tik-Toker who fled the scene, while making a fleeing dance video. There was only one person who could do something, and time was critical. bobby_ sad eyes_bambino knew naught of what else was best to do than to lean on his lack of social awareness and attempt to ward off the soldiers with dance moves and confusing noises. These actions have built his platform to a staggering 60 followers (this isn’t much bobby_ sad eyes_bambino is just starting out). The soldiers were confused and hurried to get out of his way while trying to cover their faces. It was too late as his pre-emptive attack left them all red faced and there is nothing more shameful than being in a Tik-Tok video. With his first video/stand off uploaded the internet was abuzz with his heroic actions. Not only did he not die, he also scared off the Chinese for the shame of them being caught in a dance Tik-Tok video. The weapon they unleashed on our society became the crutch for us to lean on and our international reputation somehow came out unscathed.
*Pictured are Chinese Navy personnel who are too ashamed to go back home.
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