There has been a staggering rise in evil copycat behaviour with many motorists paying a wasteful fee to upgrade their vanilla number plate to something wanky or something evil, usually involving the numbers 666! This has become a strangely popular phenomena for over a decade now and the growing number of evil plates is starting to alarm police.
I asked the police what they can do to combat the evil.
“So far our usual tactics haven’t worked due to the fear of pulling over the bloody grim reaper. Some of our more old school constables have taken to loading their guns with silver bullets and swapping their baton out with a wooden stake. Ya never know if you’re going to pull over a vampire in one of these clown cars.”
They’re unsure if it’ll work though as the police only attack people who protest lockdown laws and so far, evil number plate users only run red lights and mow down cats.
Going undercover was the best way to see the evil up close and personal. I staked out a house and waited for the devilish owner of a Toyota Hilux to step outside. As far as appearances go Jim is the most evil guy to ever drive a Toyota Hilux as his plate reads JIM-666. Pure evil. Eventually the big fella walks out of his front door. His sleeves are rolled back revealing his tattooed arms. Skulls, snakes and knives make up most of the tattoo work. I take a big gulp, hoping he doesn’t notice me. He drops his dacks next to his lemon tree and takes a slash in broad daylight. A school bus full of kids drives past and honks at his inappropriate behaviour, Jim flips them the bird and curses rabidly at them. I’ve nearly seen enough and think about making my escape but then I notice something. A rubbish bin next door that has been left out for garbage collection has been knocked over during the night and rubbish has spilled out of it, if no one does something then their collection won’t be taken. Jim notices and looks around to see if anyone is watching, I start filming him as he lifts the bin up and then fills it back up with the spilt rubbish. Once done he scurries off, jumps in his bus and hoons off with the sounds of Pantera blaring out his speakers. With this footage I can show the police that locals with 666 on their plates aren’t the devil incarnate, they’re just misunderstood tools and they shouldn’t be afraid to arrest them.
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