Jim Ryan to be Replaced by Cooler, Funnier and Wittier Mentor Hiroki Totoki

Yes, you’re reading the headline right. All round top bloke Jim Ryan has declared that he will be retiring next year. The news came with reassurance that the position will be filled by someone with all the Jim Ryan hilarious qualities and much, much more.

Ever wanted someone in your life to make you laugh at every moment, or someone to be the life of the party and to just show 100% charisma at every opportunity? Maybe they could also be the type that would gather hype and fanfare toward your business and would be great as the face for said company? These are all reassuring qualities that the new Head of Playstation and CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Hiroki Titoki will bring. Titoki has been known for his excellence in judging origami, being great at staring competitions and when given the chance showing off his world record shoe tying skills.

When asked why he would be retiring Jim Ryan modestly answered.

“I’m just not funny enough anymore, Hiroki has written three Knock Knock joke books and I can’t compete with that. He’s been around the office for as long as me and when everyone wants to hang out with him at the water cooler and not me then it’s an obvious sign that I need to move on.”

Ryan led Sony from strength to strength not due to the fact the product was selling itself but because Jim led the crusade against other companies by being a cool dude. Ryan is said to be moving back home the to the Scottish Highlands where he will be establishing a hydroponic haggis farm. Best of luck Jim and never stop smiling.