Local Dad Hopes to Buy Something Nice for Himself From all the Money he's Saved by Throttling out the Dregs of the Toothpaste Over the Years

As a dad sometimes it's the small victories won through pure manliness and vein bulging aggression toward toothpaste tubes that gets them through life. This would be a very small percentage of men, a percentage all the same. These men work hard for that satisfaction of seeing that sluggish sliver of toothpaste slop out of the mangled tube. It's not just the fact that they've emptied it completely that would leave such a man chuffed, it's the knowledge of providing more teeth to be brushed and the money that was saved. A wife of of such a man would make flirtatious advances to him while eyeing his massive muscles as he strangles the tube. Too bad lady, this man has a one track mind. Men like this are always putting their families first and there is no ulterior motive. How much money would such a habit save over a year one wonders? Only a loving God would know. A God that loves this man even for his overly keen and stupid justification of buying a carton of beer after a year of squeezing toothpaste tubes with the idea that he's earned that carton for all the money he's saved. Maybe he's got a point and has earnt that carton. I doubt it.