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Nick

Slob of a Husband Unexpectedly Works in Neglected Garden and Breaks Back

Harry Hernandez, a self-proclaimed simple man, never had any intention to do any yard work. The weeds were higher than a hippy at Woodstock Festival and a venture to the letter box required a machete for slashing. Up until now it hadn’t bothered Harry, today the electricity was out for power infrastructure upgrades and Harry figured it could be good for him to get out and be helpful. With gloves on to protect his soft as dove hands he got into the wild work with a heave and a ho. It was easy and he didn’t know why he had left it so long, the packed release schedule for videogames was the likely cause and his general lack of interest in helping around the house contributed slightly. Before long, Harry believed he was born for this moment as the gardening high took over. Attempts by his wife and kids to nourish and hydrate him were waved away as his new super helpful persona took over.

Six hours of being hunched over had passed and he had completed his heroic feat. The entrance of the house was visible again and the newly revealed mould on the exterior walls gave it a sickly drab look. Pleased with his efforts and standing akimbo he threw his back out to stretch it. Like the sound of a tree falling his back snapped and his torso flung backwards. Like a closing book his head smacked into his calves and he looked at the world upside down. Giving a laboured sigh and groan he stood there looking like a gymnast performing a prolonged bridge stance.

10 years later and his back still hasn’t been realigned, his efforts were reckless yet brave. Today we remember Harry’s sacrifice for his family and the lesson that any amount of time in the garden after not doing it for some time will leave it feeling broken. Facts.

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2 Comments


pporch61
May 18

That’s a frightening reality check. Should I spend more time doing less or less time doing more or is that the same thing even? Maybe I should spend more time doing more more often so the same terrifying result isn’t my fate.

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Nick
May 18
Replying to

Just hire a gardener and let them break their back.

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