Unity Attempting to Steal the Oxygen of Developers Along With Their Money

Monstrous plans are being hatched at the evil headquarters of Unity that smells of ghastly things like public toilets and burnt hair. Recently Unity decided to rob developers of their hard earned money and now they are putting that money to use. It is only right to show the gaming community what they are doing with the money after all the disdain that has been shown toward them. Henchmen from Unity have been installing gigantic vacuum hoses into the offices of all developers that use the Unity engine for creating games. The hoses are all inter-connected to a ginormously evil suction machine that will be used to suck the oxygen from the mouths of those gossiping developers. It does this without killing them though which makes it less evil, but still very evil.

John Unity spoke gravely with an underling about the situation.

“I’ve had enough, these developers are just mere numbers to us that provide us with money. If they want to think of us as oxygen thieves then let’s prove that we can steal that too mwahahaha!”

With cowardly confusion worn on the face of the underling he spoke.

“Umm boss they’re calling us oxygen thieves because they don’t like us not because they think you should steal their oxygen.”

“I don’t think so, it sounds more like a helpful idea to get more out them for using our magnificent service mwahahaha.”

“Uhh no boss an oxygen thief is a derogatory term used for someone that is breathing and taking the breath off of someone else who is more deserving of it.”

John Unity’s head dropped and tears fell to the ground. The underling nervously patted him on the back.

“There-there boss.”

John Unity came to his senses and didn’t want to be an oxygen thief anymore, literally or figuratively. He stepped back his evil plan and then apologized to all that incurred the Unity fee price. All that drama for nothing.