The Merrydale Community Pool has had to close today on what locals are calling nearly the darkest day in the history of the Merrydale Community Pool. The pool, which is the local hangout for people of all ages in the summer time has had many peaceful days without threat of unexpected ladder removal. We’re not saying terrible things like this cannot happen, ladders in pools are something we come to rely on far too swiftly and we are slow to recognise the fact that they can disappear. During the afternoon summer rush a concerned boy wailed as he needed to evacuate the pool before being the one to cause a code brown.
“Oh gee wizz I need to get outta this pool before I poo myself, but where has the ladder gone?!”
Moments before, Merrydale Community Pool handyman Larry Schoffenheisenwissenhofferman had been seen dismantling the ladder from the pool and then running off with it for no apparent reason. Swimmers in the area closest to the ladder’s previous location started swimming frantically around to try and find another way out. They searched in vain and started complaining amongst themselves and their rabble alerted the lifesavers on duty. Cries of help cam as people began to tire. The lifeguards couldn’t safely enter the pull without a ladder and could not perform their lifesaving duties. Swimmers scrambled to the perimeter of the pool and pathetically attempted to climb out, they failed and moaned pitifully. All seemed lost until the news team with the news helicopter arrived and lowered a rope ladder and down and in line with the edge of the pool. This enabled everyone to slowly escape and we the news team could look like the heroes of the day.
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https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Id0xv9n6ONuCF7zh8Czb9?si=a1a479808539463f
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